Trump is talking about Mayor Pete again. Is Mayor Pete still a mayor? Nope. Is he still the Secretary of Transportation? Nope. Does he currently have a job? It doesn’t appear so. But he will always be Mayor Pete, and apparently, the President of the United States has nothing better to do with his time than think about, obsess over, and talk about the presumably now-unemployed Mayor Pete. Why? Because Mayor Pete has the audacity to ride a bike.
It’s a very normal thing to do. I mean, surely, you remember all the times Obama took time out of his day to disparage Mary Peters, right? No? Oh. Well, we know Trump is obsessed with petty grievances, but why the bike thing? Why is the most powerful man in the world obsessed with Some Guy in Traverse City who likes to ride a bike?
If we had any evidence that Trump could ride a bike or do anything more athletic than swing a golf club, that would be one thing. Instead, the only possible conclusion is that he’s just jealous Mayor Pete can ride a bike, and Trump seemingly cannot.
Trump can’t ride a bike
Don’t get me wrong. I would love to see Trump try to ride a bike. If the rumors that Trump can’t ride a bike are false, and he can demonstrate that on camera, then I will eat my words and admit I’m wrong. All Trump has to do to prove me wrong is get on a bike, ride it a reasonable distance on camera, and do it without any assistance or training wheels, and everyone who says he can’t ride a bike will look like fools. Idiots, even.
It has to be eating Trump up inside that some dorky, former McKinsey consultant can easily do something he probably can’t and never will be able to do. Even if Trump did know how to ride a bike at some point, you can’t tell me with a straight face that he can still do it now. He has a well-established fear of exercise, after all.
Trump won’t ride a bike
Sadly, there’s basically no chance Trump will ever grace our eyes with the hilarious, endlessly replayable footage of him trying and failing to ride a bike. It would be an incredible thing to see, but it will never happen. In fact, at a speech in Memphis in 2022, Trump made that very clear, saying, “I make this pledge to you today. I will never, ever ride a bicycle,” after his opponent, Joe Biden, rode a bike at 79 years young took a tumble from his own bike.
Of course, it’s kind of hard to ride a bike if you don’t know how, but Trump’s public aversion to riding bikes has actually been a thing for far longer. Back in 2020, he also told voters, “I’ll never be riding a bicycle. I’m not getting hurt riding a bicycle.” The man isn’t consistent about much, but at least he’s been consistent about not riding a bike. Well, that and tariffs. Also, cheating on his wives.
Trump also took a shot at another veteran who actually knows how to ride a bike way back in 2015. Trump mocked Secretary of State John Kerry for a bike accident, saying, “I will stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons. And we won’t be using a man like Secretary Kerry… goes into a bicycle race at 72 years old, and falls and breaks his leg. I won’t be doing that. And I promise I will never be in a bicycle race. That I can tell you.”
Was Kerry competing in a bike race at the time of his crash? Of course not. He was just riding a bike because it’s a normal, healthy activity that more folks in their 70s should do regularly. Doctors love it when older people get consistent, low-impact exercise. But even back then, Trump made it clear. You won’t see him riding a bike. And while he would like you to think it’s because of safety, you and I both know it’s pure jealousy, because he probably can’t ride a bike and Mayor Pete can.
